There are only a handful of things you need to know about cleaning. 

Vinegar and Bleach make Chlorine Gas, which is toxic to breathe.

Ammonia (urine) and Bleach make Chloramine, which is toxic to breathe.

Rubbing Alcohol and Bleach make Chloroform, which is toxic to breathe. Counter to modern media, using this to drug someone to make them unconscious will seriously fuck them up. Only do this if you intend to real physical harm. Try Ether instead (highly flammable with oxygen – check out The Anarchists Cookbook if you want to know more).

Notice the common ingredient in most problems here is Bleach. Really, Bleach is best kept for putting in the wash with your whites to make them more white, if that. It’s a corrosive misused material that eats away at surfaces. Bleach is really not good in most circumstances. 

When it comes to scrubbing surfaces ya really only need Baking Soda and water. Can use Vinegar, but open a window. Bartenders Friend is a good brand powder detergent which is not corrosive but packs more punch than Baking Soda. Most ‘fancy’ cleaners contain a lot of mixed shit that make them smell better but are really more expensive versions of Baking Soda. That said, Ima fan of a bleachless soap scum remover, when it comes to the shower or bath. Remember, Bleach is bad for your skin. If you clean a bathtub with Bleach make sure you rinse it many times before taking a bath. Remember that surfaces are different. Treat hardwood, marble and formica differently. There is not a ‘one cleaner for all’ besides soapy water. Read labels. Buy the right stuff for the right surface. 

Hydrogen Peroxide and Vinegar make Peracetic/Peroxyacetic Acid which is corrosive, meaning it’ll eat through metals/ plastic etc. 

Do not use the scrubby side of the sponge on a Teflon plan!!!! Teflon is highly toxic. Once there’s a scratch on that surface you are fucked. No forks. No metal spatulas or whisks. 

Don’t use soap in a cast iron pan. Honestly, read up on cast iron pans. They are great if you know how to use them, but are a pain in the ass if you don’t. Me, I go stainless steel or copper. It’s pretty impossible to ruin a stainless steel pan.

Quickest way to remove blood from clothes is to rinse in cold water. Best done within 48hrs of blood exposure. For set stains, meaning it’s been a few days, take some watered down Ammonia and some cotton balls and dab dab dab until then stain is gone. Remember gloves and an open window. Remember no heat should be applied to the stain until after its gone. 

Use Ammonia to clean up blood as Ammonia is the only compound that will dissolve the DNA to be unreadable. 

Most soap is made out of fat and Lye. Lye is corrosive under water. Vinegar will neutralize Lye. (Read Fight Club.)

Charcoal is nature’s sandpaper. It is one of the most abrasive surfaces on earth. When you brush your teeth with Charcoal you are scratching the enamel off your teeth. Yes, your teeth will be whiter as you scratch off tar and coffee and wine stains, but there’s no stopping it from scratching off enamel, which make your teeth strong. Charcoal is also absorbent. In the medical profession it is specifically used for overdoses and Alcohol poisoning. When you digest Charcoal it absorbs nutrients in your stomach, including medicines. If you’re on any medication any amount of Charcoal can absorb and interfere with that medication. In short, Charcoal is not meant to be inside a human in any form, unless to remove poisons in extreme circumstances. Even then, it’s a temporary fix until you can get your stomach pumped. This Charcoal fad is a really dangerous one. 

Go get a water filter, even if you live in a big city. Most water is treated with Fluoride and Bleach. Consider Flint, Michigan. Read a city water report – it’s probably not good. Often the water is fine too… but the pipes it’s going through? Copper/ Lead. Yup.

Keep disposable gloves in the house. Don’t touch other people’s blood. Urine is cleaner than spit. 

Pine Sol kills cats. Chocolate kills dogs. If you have pets, keep in mind that they walk on surfaces and then lick their paws, basically eating the cleaner. 

Don’t put metal in the microwave, particularly if the stove is on. 

For the love of everything, learn to recycle and compost, please.